Another Harry Potter Musical
by Henry Rettop
Summary: Yep! It's another!! And it's better than ever! This time, I'm focusing on Les Miserables and Crazy for you, though I have many surprises on the way. Read! Review! **CHAPTER FIVE UP!!**
1. Act I scenes 1 through 4

***Another Harry Potter Musical***  
  
a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou  
  
A/N: The Harry Potter Musical was such a hit, that guess what..I DECIDED TO DO ANOTHER ONE!!! Ha! There you have it! Okay, sit back, relax, and ENJOY! Oh, and I decided to base this mainly on Les Miserables (which my school is doing this year) Crazy For You (which my school did last year) with a few surprises along the way. ENJOY!  
  
Act I Scene 1  
  
//scene, Great Hall, the end of the day. House elves are cleaning up after students. Some students are helping out (they work in exchange for free admission HERMIONE is one of them)//  
  
(Song: At the End of the Day (from Les Miserables))  
  
HOUSE ELVES: At the end of the day you're another day older. And that's all you can say for the life of us elves. It's a struggle it's a war. And there's nothing that anyone's giving. One more day standing about what is it for?  
  
WINKY(solo): One day less to be living.  
  
HOUSE ELVES: At the end of the day there's another day dawning. And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise. And the waves crash on the sand, like a storm that'll break any second. There's a hunger in the in the land. There's a reckoning still to be reckoned. And there's gonna be heck to pay- ay. At the end of the day.  
  
//HEAD HOUSE ELF comes out and sits at his desk and hands out daily food (kitchen scraps) STUDENTS HELPING (HERMIONE one of them, so is GINNY, so is PANSY) come out too.)  
  
HEAD HOUSE ELF: At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing. Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any bread.  
  
GINNY: There are studies to be done.  
  
PANSY: And the studies have to be good.  
  
GINNY AND PANSY: And you're lucky to be in a school.  
  
EVERYONE: And in a bed. And we're counting our blessings.  
  
ELF 1: Have you seen how the Head Elf is fuming today?  
  
ELF 2: With his terrible breath and his wandering hands.  
  
ELF 1: It's because 'Mione won't give him his way.  
  
ELF 2: Take a look at his eyes, you'll see where he stands.  
  
ELF 1: If Hermione doesn't watch out, watch how she goes.  
  
BOTH: She'll be out on the street.  
  
PANSY: //grabs a letter from HERMIONE// And what have we here, little innocent sister? Come on, Hermine' let's have all the news. //reading the letter// "Dear Hermione, you must send us more money, your sister needs a doctor, there's no time to lose."  
  
HERMIONE: Give that letter to me it is none of your bus'ness. With a boyfriend at home and a bit on the side //motions toward HEAD ELF//. Is there anyone here who can swear before Merlin they have nothing to hide?  
  
//girls get into fight, DUMBLEDORE strides in//  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Will someone break these two apart? What is this fighting all about? This is a school, not a circus. Now come on ladies, settle down. I run a school of repute, I am the master of this school. //to HEAD ELF// I look to you to solve this out. And be as patient as you can. //exits//  
  
HEAD ELF: Now someone say how this began.  
  
GINNY: At the end of the day, she's the one who began it. Her sister is hiding in some little town. There's some people she has to pay. You can guess how she picks up the extra. You can bet she's earning her keep, magicking around. And Dumbledore wouldn't like it.  
  
HERMIONE: Yes it's true I have a sis' and the sis' is an orphan. My parents abandoned us leaving us flat. Now she lives with an innkeeper man and his wife and I pay for her keep what's the matter with that!?  
  
WOMEN: At the end of the day she'll be nothing but trouble. And there's trouble for all when there's trouble for one. While we're learning our daily lessons, she's the one with her hands in the credit. You must send the liar away, or we're all gonna end in the gutter. It's us who'll have to pay-ay. At the end of the day.  
  
HEAD ELF: I might have known the witch could fight, I might have known the cat had claws, I might have guessed your little secret. Ah, the virtuous Hermione. Who keeps herself so neat and clean, she was the cause I had no doubt. Of any trouble here about. She plays a schoolgirl in the light but needs no urgin' in the night!  
  
PANSY: You must sack her today!!  
  
GIRLS: Sack the girl today-ay!  
  
HEAD ELF: Right my girl, ON YOUR WAY!!! //pushes HERMIONE out of great hall. ELVES and WORKERS exit. HERMIONE is left, with no one to pay for her tuition, she is kicked out of Hogwarts. Alone in the streets and destitute.//  
  
(end song)  
  
Act I Scene 2  
  
//scene, Gryffindor common room, RON, HARRY, FRED, GEORGE, and OTHER GRYFFINDORS lying around//  
  
RON: So, where's Hermione? I haven't seen her around, lately.  
  
HARRY: Listen to this juicy piece of gossip! I heard that Hermione was **kicked out!**  
  
RON: Kicked out!!??!!  
  
HARRY: That's what they say. She has a sister, Colette, and she's hiding in some little town.  
  
RON: Wow. No one to watch over me? //Common room suddenly empties. Dark, yet spotlight on RON//  
  
(Song: Someone to Watch Over Me (from Crazy for You))  
  
RON: There's a saying old says that loves is blind. Still we're often told, "Seek and ye shall find". So I want someone. To seek me out from them. Looking everywhere, haven't seen her yet. She's the big affair, I cannot forget. I just want a pretty girl for me. I'd like to add an initial to my monogram. Tell me, where is the sheep for this shepherd? There's a somebody I'm longing to see. I hope that she, turns out to be alive, and free, to watch over me. I'm a little shepherd, lost in the wood, I know I could, always be good. To one who'll watch over me. Although she may not be the one some boys think of as pretty. To my heart she carries the key. Won't you tell her please to come back to me. Follow my lead, oh how I need. Someone to watch over me.  
  
(end song)  
  
RON: //walking to dormitory// Hermione..  
  
  
  
Act I Scene 3  
  
//scene, Dumbledore's office, Dumbledore at desk, Prof. McGonagall comes in as soon as song starts along with Hagrid//  
  
Dumbledore: Phew, ever since that war with Voldemort and the dark side, things have gotten quite quiet. Though, I wonder if anyone's found out about my secret yet.. //gets up, limps over to somewhere// And this limp of mine isn't getting better. I hope Madame Pomfrey can fix it soon.  
  
(Song: "Everyday/Heart Full of Love Reprise/Marius and Cosette" from Les Miserables)  
  
MCGONAGALL: Everyday you walk, with stronger step, you walk with longer step, the worst is over.  
  
HAGRID: Everyday, I wonder everyday, who was it brought me home, from the barricade..  
  
MCGONAGALL: Don't think about it Rubeus, with all the years ahead of us. I will never go away and we will be together everyday. //sits down in front of HAGRID and holds his hands// Everyday. We'll remember that ball and the vow that we made.  
  
A heart full of love.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: She was never mine to keep.  
  
MCONAGALL AND HAGRID: A heart full of you.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: She has grown, she is free.  
  
MCGONAGALL AND HAGRID: A night full of you.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (at same time) She is beautiful, she is free..  
  
HAGRID: Minevera..  
  
MCGONAGALL: Waiting for you,  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Let it be..  
  
HAGRID: At your feet..  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Let it be..  
  
HAGRID AND MCGONAGALL: And it wasn't a dream..  
  
DUMBLEDORE: //at same time// A heart full of love.  
  
HAGRID AND MCGONAGALL: After all.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: //at same time// and I give you..  
  
H+MCG: Love  
  
//MCGONAGALL exits//  
  
HAGRID: Albus, this is a day I never can forget. Is gratitude enough for permitting me your child. //motions towards MCGONAGALL who had left// Your home shall be with us and not a day shall pass. And we will share our love with you; a father to us both, a father to us all.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Not another word my son, there's something now that must be done. There lived a man who's name was John Valjon. He stole some bread to save his sister's son. For nineteen winters served his time. In Azkaban he washed away his crime. Years ago. He broke parole and lived a life on the run. How could he tell Minevera, he'd break her heart. It's for Minevera this must be faced, if he is caught, she is disgraced. The time has come, to journey on, and from this day, I must be gone..Who am I..Who am I?  
  
HAGRID: You're John Valjon. What can I do to turn you from this, you cannot leave. Whatever I tell my beloved Minevera, she never will believe.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Make her believe I have gone on a journey a long way away. Tell her my heart was too full of farewells, it is better this way. Promise me Hagrid, Minevera will never know.  
  
HAGRID: I give my word. For the sake of my love, it must be so.  
  
(end song)  
  
  
  
Act I Scene 4  
  
//scene, streets, PANSY PARKINSON and other SLYTHERIN GIRLS and BOYS on the streets HERMIONE wanders in. //  
  
(song: "Lovely Ladies" from Les Miserables)  
  
SLYTHERIN GIRLS: We're so lovely, lovely as they get. Pearls and rubies, diamonds, silver, haven't beat us yet. Lovely ladies, that is what we are. Boys go crazy, just when look at where we are. We're so lovely, lovelier than we can stand.  
  
OLD CROON: //grabs a bunch of HERMIONE's hair// What pretty hair, what pretty locks you've got there. What luck you've got, that's worth a bargain my dear. I'LL TAKE THE LOT!  
  
HERMIONE: Don't touch me! Leave me alone!  
  
O.C.: Let's make a price. I'll give you all of five pounds. Just think of that.  
  
HERMIONE: Please make it ten. //O.C. shakes her head// What can I do? It pays a dept. Five pounds may save my poor Colette! //HERMIONE and OLD CROON exit, OLD CROON pulls out a huge pair of scissors as she exits//  
  
SLYTHERIN GIRLS: We're so lovely, lovelier than some. Movie stars and national leaders go out with only our kind of scum. Lovely, are we, we are so lovely. We are lovely just in case, you haven't figured out. We're so lovely, lovely as they come.  
  
//HERMIONE wanders in, hair cut unbelievably short. OLD CROON 2 confronts her//  
  
O.C.2.: What a pretty mouth. What pretty teeth you have there. What luck you've got, that's worth a bargain my dear. I'LL TAKE THE LOT!  
  
HERMIONE: Not a-gain! Leave me alone!  
  
O.C.2.: Let's make a price, I'll give you all of ten pounds. Just think of that.  
  
HERMIONE: Teeth don't grow back, yet what can I do, it pays a dept. Ten pounds to save my poor Colette! //O.C.2. and HERMIONE leave, O.C.2. produces a large pair of pliers as she goes off//  
  
SLYTHERIN GIRLS: She was lovely, lovelier than us. Listened to the older croons and look at what's become. We are lovely, didn't listen to them. The old croons are just after everybody's hair. //pause, piercing scream of HERMIONE comes from backstage// Look what's happened to our little chum...//HERMIONE comes out. Devastatingly ugly. Blood stains on mouth, hair unevenly cut boyishly short//  
  
HERMIONE: I was lovely, somewhat lovely, yes. But what's more important is the brain none of you get. Love, and beauty, that's what you lot want, just as well you never see the hate that's in my head. Don't you care that I am broke and my sis might be dead!!?? //girls look at her blandly// Uggh!! //storms away to a lonely corner//  
  
(end song)  
  
Hermione: Oh wouldn't it be lovely, if everything worked out? Oh..  
  
(Song: "Wouldn't It be Loverly?" from: My Fair Lady) PASSING BY OLD WITCH: It's rather dull in town, I think I'll go to Paris.  
  
HERMIONE: Mmmmmm.  
  
SERVANT: //to fellow servant// The mistress wants to open up The castle in Capri.  
  
FELLOW SERVANT: Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea!  
  
HERMIONE: Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?  
  
All I want is a room somewhere,  
  
Far away from the cold night air.  
  
With one enormous chair,  
  
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?  
  
Lots of books for me to read,  
  
Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.  
  
Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,  
  
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?  
  
Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.  
  
I would never budge 'till spring  
  
Crept over me windowsill.  
  
Colette's 'ead restin' on my knee,  
  
Warm an' tender as she can be. I takes good care of her,  
  
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?  
  
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly  
  
[REPEAT]  
  
(end song)  
  
HEMIONE: Loverly..//falls asleep//  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME EXCEPT FOR JOHN VALJON, WHO ONLY SOMEWHAT BELONGS TO ME, SO BAH!  
  
Songs: "At the End of the Day"-Les Miserables, by Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schonberg, Herbert Kretzmer, and MTI  
  
"Someone to Watch Over Me"-Crazy for You, by George and Ira Gershwin  
  
"Marius and Cosette"-Les Miserables, by ditto "At the End of the Day"  
  
"Lovely Ladies"-Les Miserables, by ditto "Marius and Cosette"  
  
"Wouldn't it be Loverly?"-My Fair Lady, by I'm-not-so-sure-whom..  
  
A/A: (author's afterthought): Okay..boy do I love writing Harry Potter Musicals!! Umm..If you've read my "Harry Potter Musical" original, you'll understand better the relationship between Mcgonagall and Hagrid. Lovely Ladies, that was quite sad, wasn't it? Should I make poor 'Mione die? I already have my mind set on the destiny of the poor, poor dear, well, I won't say too much! R/R the next scenes are ON THEIR WAY!! Oh, and once again, thank you to Harrypottermagic32 who inspired me to go on musical writing spaz! Now, it's addictive, I spend most of my free time with music books flat on my desk, typing! Okay gotta go, It's 12:05 at night! Gotta wake up for rehearsals tomorrow for LES MIZ!! 


	2. Act I scenes 4 through 8 end of act I

***Another Harry Potter Musical***  
  
a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou  
  
A/N: Get ready for SCENE 5!!! Right, people..ON YOUR WAY! erm..yea...  
  
  
  
Act I Scene 5  
  
//scene, Streets of Hogsmeade, next day, HERMIONE is waking up, HERMIONE walks the streets, peering into every young girl's face thinking it's Colette.//  
  
(Song: excerpt from "Fantine's Death" From (A/N: I'm sorry guys) Les Miserables)  
  
HERMIONE: //peering into YOUNG GIRL 1's face// Colette, it's turned so cold. //HERMIONE shivers as Y.G.1.'s MOTHER whacks HERMIONE with her purse and walks away with her daughter//  
  
HERMIONE: //peering into YOUNG GIRL 2's face// Colette, it's past your bedtime. You've played the day away, and soon it will be night.. //Y.G.2. gives HERMIONE cold shoulder and evil eye as if to say "weirdo!" and walks away//  
  
HERMIONE: //reaching after her// Come to me, Colette, the light is fading. Don't you see, the evening star appearing? Come to me, and rest against my shoulder. How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder..//HERMIONE collapses in a heap, faint from her terrible cold that she had gotten from sleeping in the streets (A/N: and, oh have I mentioned this is during the winter?)//  
  
HERMIONE://murmuring in unconsciousness// Hurry near, another day is dying. Don't you hear, winter wind blowing? There's a darkness, which comes without a warning, but I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning..  
  
(end song)  
  
//A GROUP OF PEOPLE see HERMIONE and carry her off to a mental institute, HERMIONE wakes up in the midst of their carrying and cries out "Colette! Someone help me save Colette!" Her cries are ignored and waved away as acts of insanity..//  
  
Act I Scene 6  
  
//scene, half of stage Great Hall, HARRY and STUDENT BODY OF HOGWARTS in great hall TEACHERS at teacher table, you get the picture, and other half is an empty hallway//  
  
MCGONAGALL: //standing up// Will the following people, please follow me? Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Parvati Patil, Seamus Finnigan, and Neville Longbottom. Thank you. //those people go up and follow MCGONAGALL into the hall// Now, //as she gathers them into a group in the halls// you are the lucky Gryffindors that I have chosen to take on a field trip to the mental institution. //SEAMUS, RON, AND PARVATI burst into snickers//  
  
SEAMUS: The mental institution, the crazy house! //sarcastically// What a HOOT!  
  
RON: Brilliant just brilli--//cut off by MCGONAGALL's glare//  
  
MCGONAGALL: This is no laughing matter! I trust all of you will take this seriously.  
  
SELECTED GRYFFINDORS: //in monotone// yes, Professor Mcgonagall.  
  
MCGONAGALL: Very nice. Now, as I was saying, we will leave today...  
  
Act I Scene 7  
  
//scene, Mental Institute, CRAZY PEOPLE around. HERMIONE is carried in, she is pushed by the POLICEMEN in, she ends up secluded in a corner, shivering, with only a thread-baring blanket around her shoulders and Hogwarts robes on underneath. You can see the Mental institute is not heated//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 1: //grabbing HERMIONE's shirt collar as she enters// Valjean!! At last! We see each other plain, M'sieur l'Mayor, you'll wear a different chain!!! //HERMIONE looks at him strangely, and goes in corner.//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 2: Ver eez experiment 626? I must find heem, he eez on ze loose again!! //runs around screaming//  
  
(Song: "Can't be Bothered Now" Crazy for You (happy?))  
  
CRAZY PERSON 3: Music is the magic that makes every thing sun shiny, Dancing makes my troubles all seem tiny! //hops on table and does tap dance along with it// When I'm crazy, I don't care if this old world stops turning, Or if the bank is burning, Or even if Roumania Wants to fight Albania I'm not upset And I refuse to fret. Bad news, Go way! Call round Some day, In March, or May, I can't be bothered now! My bonds and shares, May fall downstairs! Who cares? Who cares!? I'm crazy and I can't be bothered now! I'm up among the stars! On earthly things I frown I'm throwing off the bars that held me down!! I'll pay the piper, When times are riper. Just now, I shan't Because you see I'm crazy and I ca-----n't Be botHerbert KretzEHAW!! WhooHoo!  
  
//CRAZY PERSON 3 blushes, and sits down again//  
  
(end song)  
  
CRAZY PERSON 4: I am Napoleon!!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 5: Who said so?  
  
CRAZY PERSON 4: God told me!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 6: I did not!!  
  
(Song: "Hakuna Matata" from (yep) The Lion King)  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase.  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: Hakuna Matata, ain't no passin' craze.  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7+8: It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy.  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: Hakuna Matata-well, when he was a young monkey..  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: When I was a young monkey!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: //spoken// very nice //singing// He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal. He could clear the Savannah after ev'ry meal.  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick skinned. And it hurt, that my friends never stood down wind! And OH the shame!!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: Oh the shame.  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: Thought of changing' my name!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: What's in a name!?  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: And I got down-hearted..every time that I-  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: //spoken// Hey, George, not in front of the kids.  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: //spoken// oh, sorry.  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7+8: Hakuna Matata..what a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata- ain't no passin' craze!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 9 WHO DECIDED TO JOIN IN AFTER OBSERVING: It means no worries, for the rest of your days.  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7+9: It's our problem free-  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: Philosophy!  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7+9: Hakuna Matata!  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7, 8, AND 9: //sneaking around the room, chanting// Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna-  
  
CRAZY PERSON 9: It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's our problem free philosophy!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: Hakuna Matata!  
  
WHOLE MENTAL INSTITUTE EXCEPTING HERMIONE: //sneaking around in a circle with HERMIONE in the center, looking totally lost, chanting until they fade out// Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata...  
  
//MENTAL INSTITUTE WORKERS come in and stop the crazy people and they return to their normal state//  
  
(end song)  
  
//MCGONAGALL and CHOSEN GRYFFINDORS enter//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 10: //spotting NEVILLE and jumps in front of him// I know you...  
  
(Song: "Poopity-Poop-Poop" made up by my sister, Cindy Regnarg (DO NOT ASK!!))  
  
CRAZY PERSON 10: Poopity-poop-poop, I feel good! Plopity-plop-plop, I just pooped! Poopity-poop-poop I smell poop! Plopity-plop-plop, lets make poopsicles!  
  
//goes on chanting and gets in a kick line with CRAZY PERSONS 6 though 9 and grabs NEVILLE to go in it, MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS pull them away//  
  
(end song)  
  
HEAD MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKER (HIS NAME IS BOB): Welcome, to our humble institution.  
  
MCGONAGALL: //her hand dodging his kiss// er..charmed, I'm sure.  
  
BOB: Would you like to take a look around, or should I organize a tour?  
  
MCGONAGALL: Um, we're fine, thank you. //addressing students// okay everyone, take a look around!  
  
//RON wanders over to HERMIONE's corner, HERMIONE reaches out for him and MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS grab her and pull her back. She tries again and again, and fights against MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS, BOB calls HAVERT (pronounced as "Hah-vair"), the policeman//  
  
(Song: "Fantine's Arrest" from Les Miserables  
  
HAVERT: Tell me quickly what's the story, Who saw what and why and where? Let him give a full description, let him answer to Havert! In this nest of crazy people, Let him speak who saw it all, Who laid hands on this good man here? What's the substance of this brawl?  
  
BOB: Havert would you believe it? Ron was crossing from the hall, When this crazy girl attacked him, You can see she left a mark //shows invisible mark on RON's face//  
  
HAVERT: She will answer for her actions, When you make a full report, You may rest assured, Mister, That she will answer to prison.  
  
HERMIONE: I have a sis who sorely needs me, Please, Havert, she's but that high //indicates COLETTE's height// Holy cow! Is there no mercy? If I go to jail, she'll die!  
  
HAVERT: I have heard such protestations everyday for twenty years, Let's have no more explanations, Save your breath and save your tears. Honest work, just reward, that's the way to please the law!  
  
RON: A moment of your time Havert, I do believe this girls tale-  
  
HAVERT: But Mister Victim-  
  
RON: You have done your duty, let her be, She needs a doctor, not a jail.  
  
HAVERT: But Mister Victim!  
  
HERMIONE: Can it be!!??  
  
RON: Where will you end? You and that sis without a friend. I've seen your face before. Show me some way to help you. How have you come to grief, in such a place as this?  
  
HERMIONE: Ron, don't mock me now, I pray. It's hard enough I've lost my hair and teeth. The elf Foreman sent me away, And you were there, Yes it was I. I never did a wrong..  
  
RON: Is it true what we've done?  
  
HERMIONE: My sister's close to dying.  
  
RON: To an innocent soul?  
  
HERMIONE: If there's a God above-  
  
RON: Had I only know then-  
  
HERMIONE: He'd let me die instead. //bursts into tears and shivers and coughs//  
  
(end song)  
  
RON: Hermione! Wha-why-how..//they burst into a hug, HERMIONE pulls away quickly to cough and sneeze//  
  
MCGONAGALL: Ronald Weasley! Come, our ride is waiting back to the castle.  
  
RON: But, Professor, it's Hermi-  
  
MCGONAGALL: No buts about it! Now, either get in the car, or face a week of detentions!  
  
RON: //reluctantly// Alright..//turns back to HERMIONE// But I'll be back, Hermione, don't you worry. //HERMIONE sniffles and nods then coughs//  
  
Act I Scene 8  
  
//scene, half-stage Gryffindor Common room, Half stage Mental institute, CRAZY PEOPLE asleep, though CRAZY PERSON 5 (also known as HERBERT) is awake, looking at HERMIONE who is also awake. RON is awake with HARRY and GINNY and PARVATI who are all casually drifting away and waking back up on the sofas//  
  
(Song: "In My Life", then leading into "A Heart Full of Love" both from Les Miserables)  
  
"In My Life"  
  
HERBERT: //lights down on common room, spotlight on Mental Institute// How strange, this feeling that my life's begun at last. This change, am I experiencing love at last? What's the matter with you, Herbert? Have you been too much on your own? So many things unclear, So many things, unknown. //stops in place and that half of stage freezes when spotlight goes on the other half, HARRY sings//  
  
HARRY: In my life, There are so many questions and answers that somehow seem wrong. In my life, There are times when I catch in the sigh of a faraway song. And it sings, Of a world that I long to see, Out of reach, Just a whisper away, Waiting for me! //spot goes back on Mental institute, HARRY freezes, HERBERT unfreezes//  
  
HERBERT: Does she know I'm alive, do I know if she's real? Does she see what I see, does she feel what I feel? In my life, I'm no longer ill, now the love of my life is so near, Find me now, find me here.  
  
HERMIONE: //talking to an imaginary COLETTE// Dear Colette, you're such a lonely child. What about, the innkeepers kids? Believe me, were it within my power, I'd fill each passing hour. How quiet it must be, I can see, With only them for company.  
  
HERBERT: //waking HERMIONE from her hallucinations// There's so little I know, that I'm longing to know, Of your sis who is somewhere away. There's so little you say of the life you have known, Why do you keep to yourself, Why're you always alone? So dark ,so dark and deep, the secrets, that you keep. //lights go on Common Room, HERBERT and HERMIONE freeze, HARRY unfreezes//  
  
//DUMBLEDORE enters along with MINEVERA//  
  
HARRY: In my life, I'm no longer a child, and I yearn for the truth I don't know, Of the years, years, ago.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: //to HARRY//You will learn, //to HARRY and MINEVERA// Truth is given to by God to us all, In our time, In our turn. //RON gets up from couch//  
  
RON: In my life, She has burst like the music of angels, The light of the sun. And my life, Seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun, //to MINEVERA// Professor, you're the one that had brought me there, Thanks to you, I am one with Merlin and Heaven is near! And I soar through a world that is new, that is free! //PARVATI has been listening closely, now gets up//  
  
PAVARTI: Every word that he says is a dagger in me, In my life, There's been no one like him, anywhere, where he is. If he asked, I'd be his. //lights go up on Mental Institute, now both halves are lighted//  
  
HERBERT, PAVARTI, and RON: In my life, There is someone who touches my life!  
  
RON: Waiting near.  
  
HERBERT and PAVARTI: Waiting here..  
  
A Heart Full of Love  
  
//RON and HERMIONE go to edge of their half of the stage, they put hands together as if they are on opposite sides of a mirror, and sing as if they're right next to each other//  
  
RON: A heart full of love,  
  
HERMIONE: A heart full of song,  
  
HERBERT: //walking up to HERMIONE// I'm doing everything all wrong, Oh God, for shame, I do not even know her name. //steps to HERMIONE// Dear friend, won't you say, will, you tell?  
  
HERMIONE: //still to RON// A heart full of love. No fear, no regret!  
  
HERBERT: My name is Herbert Kretzmer!  
  
HERMIONE: //notices HERBERT's there// Hermione!  
  
HERBERT: 'Mione, I don't know what to say.  
  
HERMIONE: Then make no sound.  
  
HERBERT: I am lost.  
  
PAVARTI: //walking to RON's side// I am found  
  
RON: //to HERMIONE// A heart full of light.  
  
PAVARTI and RON: //though both to different people, i.e. RON to HERMIONE, PAVARTI to RON// A night bright as day!  
  
HERBERT: //to HERMIONE// And you must never go away! Hermione!  
  
RON: This is a chain, we'll never break.  
  
PAVARTI: Do I dream?  
  
RON: I'm awake! A heart full of love.  
  
PAVARTI: He was never mine to lose.  
  
GINNY: //to HARRY// A heart full of you!  
  
PAVARTI: //at same time as RON// Why, regret what cannot be?  
  
RON: //at same time as PAVARTI// Just one look and then I knew.  
  
GINNY: These are words Harry'll never say. Not to me.  
  
HERBERT: From today.  
  
GINNY: Not to me, not for me.  
  
HERMIONE: Every day,  
  
PAVARTI: His heart full of love..  
  
GINNY and PAVARTI: //at same time as HERBERT// He will never feel this way.  
  
HERBERT: //At same time as GINNY and PAVARTI// Not a dream after all  
  
(end songs)  
  
//end Act I with GINNY on her knees, staring at HARRY, who is in a sofa, pondering his past, PAVARTI has her hands on RON's arm and stares longingly at him, RON is at the edge of the border between Mental Institute and Common room. HERMIONE is asleep, shivering and coughing, HERBERT is standing over her, taking care of her//  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER INDICIA BELONGS TO THE BLESSED JKR WHO HAS GOTTEN HER BOOK 5 TOGETHER AT LAAAAST!! HERBERT KRETZMER BELONGS TO HIMSELF, BOB BELONGS TO ME, HAVERT BELONGS TO ME...SORT OF..  
  
Songs: excerpt from "Fantine's Death"-Les Miserables, by Alain Boublil, Claude- Michel Schonberg, and HERBERT KRETZMER!!  
  
"Can't Be Bothered Now"-Crazy for You by George and Ira Gershwin  
  
"Hakuna Matata"-The Lion King by I'm not so sure whom, though the whole thing belongs to DISNEY  
  
"Poopity Poop-Poop"-My Sister's Very Silly Little Mind, by My sister, Cindy Regnarg  
  
"Fantine's Arrest"-Les Miserables, by Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schonberg, and HERBERT KRETZMER!!  
  
"In My Life"-Les Miserables, by Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schonberg, and HERBERT KRETZMER!!  
  
"A Heart Full of Love"-Les Miserables, by Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schonberg, and HERBERT KRETZMER!!  
  
A/A: Hey! Whaddya think? I'm done with act one, going onto act two. Should I keep Herbert alive? Oh, and if you haven't figured out, Herbert Kretzmer is the Lyricist of Les Mis!! Okay, this was petty long, sorry about that, it was mostly the insanity from the Insane Asylum (Mental Institute) Puh- leez do not bug me about Havert, if you have another name that will have the same length and rhyme accordingly, go ahead, include it in a pleasant review! I wanna make Seamus a little more than just a side character in this one. Whaddya think? Let me clear up everyone's wanting: Harry-Wants knowledge of his childhood and stuff.  
  
Ron-Wants to be with Hermione  
  
Hermione-Wants Colette to be safe, and has slight feelings for Ron  
  
Pavarti-Wants Ron  
  
Ginny-Wants Harry to get his mind off the past to be with her/be with Harry  
  
Oh, be ready for more surprises, like my sister's Poopity Poop-Poop, please don't think my sister's crazy, because she is only slightly insane, but aren't we all? I was thinking of putting more Lion King in it! How about Scar's "Be Prepared?! I'll think about it..I'm gonna add something! There will be an advertisement of some unknown genius out there in the fanfic author world and I'll publicize him/her at the end of every chapter! Okay here's the first:  
  
  
  
AerisGhost-He is a Final Fantasy 7 fan along with other things like Kingdom Hearts and Angel. He's already done with a fantastic Murder mystery. I'm not an extreme fan of his, but he's my friend and he goes to my school, so I'm putting him on here! Oh, he plays Feuilly in Les Mis. 


	3. Act II scenes 1 through 4

**  
  
a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou  
  
A/N: Get ready for ACT II!!! Right, people..ON YOUR WAY! erm..yea...  
  
Act II Scene 1  
  
//scene, Dumbledore's office, MCGONAGALL and RON and DUMBLEDORE are there//  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I've been meaning to talk to you about your recent schoolwork, Mr, Weasley-  
  
MCGONAGALL: Quite frankly, it stinks.  
  
RON: What? What do you mean?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Well, Ronald, lately, you haven't been doing very w-  
  
//gets cut off buy a very confused looking man with one long eyebrow across his forehead and a tattoo of an eye across his ankle, running in//  
  
WEIRD MAN: Have any of you scum seen three little brats?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: No, not lately  
  
MCGONAGALL: Well yes, I have, if you go down those stairs and take the corridor to the right, you will run into a picture of a very robust vegetable. At the vegetable, take a left, and keep going straight.  
  
WEIRD MAN: Thank you //runs off//  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Did you really-  
  
MCGONAGALL: No I just wanted to get him out of the way.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Well, anyways...Ron, you haven-  
  
//gets cut off once again by a bunch of old women storming into the room trying to stab him with knitting needles, then the press (a bunch of guys with cameras and microphones) stomp in//  
  
DUMBLEDORE: //gets on top of his desk and screams while pulling out his hair// WILL EVERYONE JUST LEAVE US ALONE AND LET ME TALK!!!!!!! //old ladies and press look very put down and sorrowfully march out// Thank you. Now as I was saying, Ron, I've been worrying about your schoolwork. Is anything bothering you?  
  
RON: Um..no.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Okay, well that's settled, you're dismissed, Ronald. //RON exits//  
  
MCGONAGALL: Well, Papa, I must be going. Don't want to miss out on the Quidditch match. Tata.  
  
//MCGONAGALL exits HAGRID enters, looks surprised at seeing DUMBLEDORE//  
  
HAGRID: Albus! What're you doin' here? I thought you were goin' away?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes, well, I'm putting it off for a while. Yes.  
  
HAGRID: Oh, well okay...  
  
//lights go down//  
  
Act II Scene 2  
  
//scene, Mental Institution, HERMIONE and OTHER MENTAL PEOPLE sitting around. MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS and BOB bring in a struggling NEW MENTAL PERSON, who's name happens to be PIERRE ENJOLRAS, HERMIONE has HERBERT's coat keeping her warm. HERBERT stands over her.//  
  
BOB: //to MENTAL PEOPLE// Well, guys, this is Pierre Enjolras he-  
  
ENJOLRAS: But YOU can call me master!  
  
BOB: Yes, whatever you say, Pierre, anyways Pierre is going to be staying with us from now on. Be nice to him.  
  
MENTAL PEOPLE: //in unison// Yes Bob!  
  
MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKER: //exclusively to BOB// Bob, exactly what is Pierre's problem?  
  
BOB: He has some strange obsession of some sort.  
  
//MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS and BOB leave, ENJOLRAS pounces on top of a table//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: Hey! I feel a song comin' on!!  
  
(Song: "Be Prepared" from The Lion King)  
  
ENJOLRAS: I know that your pow'rs of retention,  
  
Are as wet as a warthog's backside,  
  
But thick as you are, PAY ATTENTION!  
  
My words are a matter of pride.  
  
//waves hand in front of CRAZY PERSONS 7-9// It's clear from your vacant expressions,  
  
That the lights are not all on upstairs.  
  
But we're talking Bob and discriminations,  
  
Even YOU can't be caught unawares!!!!  
  
Be prepared for the chance of a lifetime!  
  
Be prepared for sensational news!  
  
A shining new era, is tiptoeing nearer!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: And where do we feature?  
  
ENJOLRAS: Just listen to teacher.  
  
I know it sounds sordid,  
  
But you'll be rewarded,  
  
When at last I am given my dues!  
  
AND JUSTICE DELICIOUSLY SQUARED,  
  
BE PREPARED!!!!!!!!!  
  
//spoken://  
  
CRAZY PERSON 2: Ya! Be prepared! Ve'll be prepared! For vat?  
  
ENJOLRAS: For the death of Bob!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: What? Is he sick?  
  
ENJOLRAS: No, fool, we're going to kill him! And the crew too!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 3: Great idea!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 10: Who needs Bob and his crew?  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 3+10: //holding hands and dancing (like ring around the rosy) in a circle// No Bob! No crew! We will never be ruled!  
  
ENJOLRAS: IDIOTS!! You will be ruled!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 10: But you said tha-  
  
ENJOLRAS: I am your master! Stick with me and, you'll never be discriminated AGAIN!!!  
  
//singing again//  
  
WHOLE OF MENTAL INSTITUTION EXCEPT HERMIONE AND HERBERT WHO ARE BOTH STANDING BACK, LOOKING VERY STUNNED: //MENTAL PATIENTS are marching around the table in lines, some in wheelchairs and etc. On the table is ENJOLRAS sitting on a pile of stacked chairs and stools//  
  
It's great that we'll soon be connected,  
  
With a boss who'll be all time adored,  
  
ENJOLRAS: Of course, quid pro quo you'll be expected, to take certain//draws finger across his throat// duties on board.  
  
The future is littered with prizes.  
  
And though I'm the main addressee.  
  
The point that I must emphasize is:  
  
YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!!!!  
  
So prepare for the coup //pronounced "coo"// of the century, (OTHER MENTAL PEOPLE: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!)  
  
Be prepared, for the murkiest scam! (OTHER MENTALS: Ah-Ah-Ah)  
  
Meticulous planning. (OTHER MENTALS: There'll be joy)  
  
Tenacity spanning. (OTHER MENTALS: Lots of joy)  
  
Decades of denial, (OTHER MENTALS: OoOooOoOoOoOo Ahhhhhhh (keep this 'til I say stop))  
  
Is simply why I'll,  
  
Be boss, undisputed,  
  
Respected, saluted  
  
And SEEN FOR THE WONDER I AM!!! (OTHER MENTALS: AHHHHHHHhhh)  
  
My teeth and ambitions are bared!! //NURSE takes him off the tower of chairs and puts him in a wheelchair//  
  
BE PREPARED!!! //ENJOLRAS cackles madly as nurse solemnly nods and wheels him away, OTHERS watch, then burst back into song as NURSE and ENJOLRAS exit://  
  
ALL: Yes our teeth and ambitions are bared.  
  
BE PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!!! //ALL giggle wildly and go back to business//  
  
(end song)  
  
//time passes, NURSE and BOB come back onstage//  
  
NURSE: Do you think that they were serious and were actually planning to plunge us into oblivion?  
  
BOB: //pauses, then shakes head// Nah..  
  
//BOB and NURSE exit ENJOLRAS maliciously wheels back inside the main part//  
  
ENJOLRAS: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA. Come everyone, //everyone, this time including HERBERT yet still excluding HERMIONE gather in a circle around ENJOLRAS, the NURSE, dressed up as a MENTAL PERSON, gathers too//  
  
(Song: excerpt from "The Barricade" from Les Miserables)  
  
ENJOLRAS: Here upon these stones, we will build our barricade!  
  
In the heart of this institution we call as our own.  
  
Each man to his duties and don't be afraid //CRAZY PERSONS 7-9 start to exit, yet stop as ENJOLRAS shouts://  
  
Wait!  
  
I will need a report on the strength of the foe-  
  
//NURSE steps out//  
  
NURSE: I can find out the truth,  
  
I know their ways,  
  
Was one once,  
  
Yet they thought,  
  
That I was crazy too. //everyone starts breaking chairs and building their "Barricade" in the middle of the room, include things like blankets and bags and weird things.//  
  
(end song)  
  
ENJOLRAS: Good! Now, everyone to their positions, we will surprise them as they enter..  
  
Act II Scene 3a  
  
//scene, Gryffindor Common Room, PAVARTI, GINNY, and HARRY and RON are lounging, HARRY and RON soon exit//  
  
//PAVARTI and GINNY look after them longingly//  
  
(Song: "But Not for Me" from Crazy For You)  
  
PAVARTI: They're writing songs of love, but not for me.  
  
A lucky star's above, but not for me.  
  
With love to lead the way, I've fond more clouds of gray,  
  
Than any potion's class could guarantee.  
  
I know I'm a fool to fall and get that way,  
  
Hey ho Alas, also  
  
Lackaday.  
  
Although I can't dismiss the longing for his kiss..  
  
I wish he was for me.  
  
GINNY: He was knocking on a door,  
  
But not for me.  
  
He'll plan a two by four,  
  
But not for me.  
  
I know that love's a game,  
  
I'm puzzled just the same,  
  
Was I the moth or flame?  
  
I'm all at sea.  
  
It all began so well, but what an end!  
  
This is the time a feller needs a friend!  
  
When ev'ry happy plot.  
  
Ends with a dating knot,  
  
I guess there's no knot for me.  
  
(end song)  
  
//blackout lights with GINNY and PAVARTI hurrying off, as not to be late for classes//  
  
Act II Scene 3b  
  
//scene, hall, VARIOUS STUDENTS hurrying past, GINNY catches up to HARRY//  
  
GINNY: Harry! Hi! I was wondering, are you doing anything Saturday night? We could take a walk around the lake.  
  
HARRY: //looks at her like a disgusting bug// No way-I'm way too busy! And by the way, we are over! I don't want to have anything to do with you, you little booger! //exits//  
  
//GINNY looks devastated//  
  
(Song: "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables)  
  
GINNY: //still reaching after HARRY// There was a time when he was kind,  
  
His voice was soft,  
  
His words inviting.  
  
There was a time when love was blind,  
  
And the world was a song,  
  
And the song was exciting.  
  
There was a time when it all went wrong..  
  
I dreamed a dream in time gone by.  
  
When hope was high and life worth living.  
  
I dreamed that love would never die.  
  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.  
  
Then I was young and unafraid.  
  
And dreams were made and used and wasted.  
  
There was no ransom to be paid,  
  
No song unsung, no pumpkin juice un-tasted.  
  
//HARRY walks by again, a bunch of GIRLS at his side//  
  
GINNY: But the tigers come at night.  
  
With their voices harsh as thunder!  
  
As they tear your hope apart,  
  
As they turn your dreams to sha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ame!  
  
He spent two summers by my side!  
  
He filled my days with endless wonder.  
  
He took my childhood in his stride!  
  
But he was gone when autumn came.  
  
And still I dream he will agree.  
  
And we can live the years together!  
  
But there are dreams that cannot be.  
  
And there are storms we cannot weather!  
  
//a bunch of GIRLS hurry past knocking into GINNY and knock her books out of her arms//  
  
I had a dream my life would be,  
  
So different from this hell I'm living!  
  
So different now, from what it was.  
  
//drops to her knees//  
  
Now he has killed the dream I dreamed.  
  
(end song) //black out//  
  
Act II Scene 4  
  
//scene, Mental Institution. PIERRE ENJOLRAS sitting on stack of chairs on table, VARIOUS CRAZY PEOPLE sitting normally around table, when song starts, CRAZY PERSONS 7-9 run in//  
  
CRAZY PERSONS 7-9: //offstage// Enjolras!!  
  
(Song: excerpt from "The ABC Café" from Les Miserables)  
  
CRAZY PERSON 7: At room seven, the sections are prepared!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: At twenty-eight they're straining at the leash!  
  
CRAZY PERSON 9: Patients, people everywhere. There's a river on the run. Like the flowing of the tide, people coming to our side.  
  
ENJOLRAS: The time is near!  
  
So near, it's stirring the blood in their veins,  
  
And yet, beware!  
  
Don't let this pride go to your brains!  
  
For the army we fight is a dangerous foe!  
  
And they have men we never can match!  
  
Sure it's easy to sit here and swat them like flies,  
  
But the National Guard would be harder to catch.  
  
We need a sign to rally the people to call them to arms and to bring them in line! (end song)  
  
//NURSE climbs back over barricades//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 8: She's back!  
  
(Song: excerpt from "Javert at the Barricades" from (yes) Les Miserables)  
  
NURSE: I have overheard their plans..there will be..no attack tonight.  
  
They intend to starve us out,  
  
Before they start a proper fight,  
  
Concentrate their force,  
  
Hit us from the right //shows ENJOLRAS something on the map//  
  
CRAZY PERSON 2: //jumping out from crowd// Liar!!  
  
Good evening dear nurse,  
  
Lovely evening, ma dear!  
  
I know zis nurse my friends,  
  
Her name eez Nurse Claire!  
  
Zo dun't believe a verd she says,  
  
'Cause none ov eet's true!  
  
Zis only goes to show vat Crazy people can do.  
  
And crazy people know,  
  
When crazy people fight,  
  
Ve may look easy peekings but ve've got some bite!  
  
So never kick a dog!  
  
Because he's just pup!  
  
Ve'll fight like twenty armies and ve von't give up!  
  
So you'd better run for cover ven ve go up!  
  
(end song)  
  
ENJOLRAS: Bravo, everyone, we've caught the snake in the grass! //whole mental institution goes up into a roar of applause// Now take the nurse and tie her up there. We will decide your fate, Nurse Claire!  
  
//curtain//  
  
DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME EXCEPT FOR THE CRAZY PEOPLE, AND BOB AND NURSE YET THEY ARE BASED ON OTHER PEOPLE TOO! (i.e. Crazy Person 2-Junba from Lilo and Stitch)  
  
songs: "Be Prepared!"-The Lion King, by..well, It's owned by Disney  
  
"The Barricades"-Les Miserables, by Alan Boublil, Herbert Kretzmer, and Claude-Michel Schonberg  
  
"But Not for Me"-Crazy for You, by George and Ira Gershwin  
  
"I Dreamed a Dream"-Les Miserables, by Alan Boublil, Herbert Kretzmer, and Claude-Michel Schonberg  
  
"The ABC Café"-Les Miserables, by Alan Boublil, Herbert Kretzmer, and Claude-Michel Schonberg  
  
"Javert at the Barricades"-Les Miserables, by Alan Boublil, Herbert Kretzmer, and Claude-Michel Schonberg  
  
A/A: Okay..about Ron and his schoolwork thingy..Well..I'm just gonna say that the old ladies and press will make a return! Enjolras...Quite a "to- the-point" guy don't ya think? Not much to say here..  
  
ADVERTISEMENT: Cindy Regnarg-My sister! Has a fairly good Pokemon/Harry Potter fic and is working on another one. She's only 10! Take it easy on her, but still review! And yes, she's the one who came up with the poopity poop-poop song. It's okay. She's not that crazy on her own fics.. 


	4. Act II scenes 4 through 8 end of act II

**  
  
a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou  
  
A/N: BE PREPARED! For scene 5! ..yea..  
  
Act II Scene 5a  
  
//scene, Great Hall, EVERYONE IN STUDENT BODY AND FACULTY there//  
  
RON: //talking to HARRY// It's too bad Trelawney the old bird got kicked out last year.  
  
HARRY: But the new professor is much better, don't you think?  
  
RON: Definitely! No one can beat your godfather Siri-I mean..Snuffles as a professor.  
  
HARRY: His name is Salamer, Professor Salamer Blank.  
  
RON: Oh, yes, right.  
  
//HARRY and RON walk away//  
  
HAGRID: //running up to DUMBLEDORE, confidentially// Albus, just out o' curiosity, if you aren't Minevera's real father, who is?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid, father, I'm not sure who, yet Minevera's mother was Sybil, Sybil Trelawney.  
  
HAGRID: SYBIL!!?? //DUMBLEDORE tries to hush him up// Oh, yes. Sorry.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, Sybil. I met her a long time ago, before she taught here. Voldemort had taken her, yet she managed to get away, with no harm done but a simple yet powerful memory charm. Yes, she forgot everything of her past life, and I pitied her and took her in as a professor, but she was much more than that in her past life, you know. She was a true seer, an oracle in Athens, Greece, her last name was Mcgonagall too. The memory charm drove her to wretchedness. So I took Minevera in as my own, and pretended that things were all right. Until..  
  
HAGRID: Until last year, right?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, somehow Severus managed to bring up that old subject again and for some reason or another, Lucius Malfoy persuaded the board to dump her and I had absolutely no control over it.  
  
HAGRID: I wonder where she is now.  
  
//black out lights//  
  
Act II Scene 5b  
  
//scene, streets of Hogsmeade, TRELAWNEY on her knees in the cold, windy, cold, dreary, miserable-LES MISERABLES! MWHAHAHHAA *author runs off cackling madly*//  
  
(Song: "Memory" from Cats)  
  
TREWLAWNEY: Midnight, not a sound from the pavement.  
  
Has the moon lost her memory?  
  
She is smiling alone.  
  
In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet.  
  
And the wind begins to moan.  
  
Memory. All alone in the moon light.  
  
I can smile at the old days.  
  
I was beautiful then.  
  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.  
  
Let the memory live again.  
  
Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning.  
  
Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters.  
  
And soon it will be morning.  
  
Daylight. I must wait for the sunrise.  
  
I must think of a new life.  
  
And I mustn't give in.  
  
When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too.  
  
And a new day will begin.  
  
Burnt out ends of smoky days,  
  
The stale cold smell of morning.  
  
The street lamp dies, another night is over,  
  
Another day is dawning.  
  
//now coughing madly and reaching out to VARIOUS PEOPLE on the streets// Touch me! It's so easy to leave me!  
  
All alone with the memory,  
  
Of my days in the sun.  
  
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is.  
  
Look, a new day has begun.  
  
//coughs out blood, head hits against building, eyes go backwards into head, arms and torso go limp, TRELAWNEY dead//  
  
(end song)  
  
Act II Scene 6  
  
//scene, Mental Institution, CRAZY PEOPLES all at the barricades, waiting for action, ENJOLRAS waving a red flag upon the barricades, HERBERT and HERMIONE talking at a table//  
  
HERMIONE: You're really not that serious about this "revolution" of theirs are you?  
  
HERBERT: Sure, why not? I mean, there is a chance that Bob might understand his wrong-doings through this. What about you?  
  
HERMIONE: I just want to be a regular teenager! //sobs and drops to her knees// My sister, Colette is somewhere with this innkeeper and his wife and now that I can't pay for her keep, they might send her out onto the streets! As of now, I'm not sure if she's even alive! With my condition, stuck in this horrid, whacked place //HERBERT looks offended// sorry, but, stuck here, I won't be able to get her myself. I used to run a very normal life, believe it or not! I had-and hope I still have, a boyfriend at Hogwarts, where I used to go, I kept up with my studies and everything, but then that tragedy happened! And now I'm stuck here, with no one on my side!  
  
HERBERT: Hermione..I'm so, so sorry.  
  
//BOB enters with RON dressed up as a mental person, MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS come in too//  
  
HERMIONE: //gasp// Ron!  
  
RON: shh!  
  
BOB: //clears throat// Good morning guys this is-  
  
ENJOLRAS: FIRE!!!! //CRAZY PEOPLE start throwing odd objects such as rubber chickens and pens and pencils at BOB and STAFF//  
  
BOB: Wait, hey! What's this fighting all about, this is a mental institution, not a circus! Now come on, everyone, settle down. I run a business of repute, I am Bob, the Head of this Institution. I look to you to sort this out and be as patient as you can-  
  
CRAZY PERSON 1: //jumps over barricades and grabs BOB's shirt collar// Valjean! At last! We see each other plain! M'sieur L'mayor, you'll wear a different chain!  
  
BOB: Before you say another word, patient, before you chain anyone up like a slave again, listen to me, there is something I must do. //points to RON// This person has come here, suffering of an illness, there is none but us who can take him in. In mercy's name, three days are all I need. Then I'll return, I pledge my word, then I'll return-  
  
HERMIONE: Umm..what's going on here?  
  
BOB: //blushes// Aha-never mind..where were we-  
  
ENJOLRAS: FIRE!! //throwing of weird objects starts again//  
  
//another NURSE pulls ENJOLRAS down from the barricades and wheels him away in the wheelchair. Fighting stops//  
  
BOB: Yes, thank you. Now where was I? Yes. //pointing to RON// This is David Hersey. He is new here, and is to stay with us. Be nice to him.  
  
WHOLE MENTAL INSTITUTE: //in unison// Yes, Bob.  
  
MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKER: //exclusively to BOB// Bob, what exactly is his problem?  
  
BOB: He thinks he's some lighting designer of some stage show called..what was it?  
  
RON: Cats.  
  
BOB: Yes, Kittens.  
  
RON: Cats.  
  
BOB: Yes, Kats  
  
RON: Cats!  
  
BOB: That is exactly what I said: KATS!!!  
  
RON: No, Cats!  
  
BOB: Don't toy with me, little boy! You said KATS and that's THAT!!!  
  
RON: //pulling on hair and screaming// NO!!  
  
//BOB summons NURSES to take RON and sit him down at a table coincidentally near HERMIONE, spot on RON and HERMIONE//  
  
HERMIONE: //rushes over to RON// Ron! What's wrong?! Are you really-  
  
RON: Shh..It's a disguise. Don't worry. You'll be out in no time.  
  
HERMIONE: //coughs// Really!? Oh thank you! //coughs again// Colette! Oh hold on! Colette!  
  
RON: We'll be leaving tomorrow. Pack your bags!  
  
HERMIONE: But how will I pay for the tuition at Hogwarts?  
  
RON: Oh, don't worry about that, 'Mione, Dumbledore's got it all covered. //RON and HERMIONE share a passionate kiss while HERBERT looks at them with disgust.//  
  
Act II Scene 7  
  
//Henry Rettop walks by, smiles, and hurries off to classes//  
  
//end scene//  
  
Act II Scene 8  
  
//scene, half Gryiffindor common room, half Mental institution, Mental revolutionaries sitting at barricade, HERMIONE, RON and HERBERT sitting there// (song One Day More, from Les Miserables)  
  
DUMBLEDORE: //striding into common room, scaring students// One day more!  
  
Another day another destiny  
  
This never-ending road to Calvary.  
  
These men who seem to know Sybil will surely come for some more kibble, one day mo-ore-  
  
//lights up on Mental Institution//  
  
HERBERT: I did not live until todaaaaaaay.  
  
How can I live when we are parted?  
  
One day more.  
  
HERBERT (now with HERMIONE): Tomorrow you'll be worlds awaaaaaay,  
  
HERBERT(on his own): And yet with you my world has started.  
  
//lights back up on Gryff. Common Room (GCR)//  
  
PAVARTI: One more day all on my own.  
  
GINNY: //staring after HARRY// Will we ever kiss again?  
  
PAVARTI: One more day with Ron not caring.  
  
GINNY: I thought I was born to be with him.  
  
What a life I might have known.  
  
Yet we sweared we would be true.  
  
But he doesn't see me heeeeeeeeeeeeeere----  
  
//lights up on Mental Institution//  
  
ENJOLRAS: //being wheeled into room// One more day before the storm!  
  
HERBERT: Do I follow where she goes?  
  
ENJOLRAS: At our barricades of freedom!  
  
HERBERT: Do I join my brothers there?  
  
ENJOLRAS: When our ranks begin to form!  
  
HERBERT: Do I stay, do I dare?  
  
ENJOLRAS: Will you take your place with me?  
  
THE WHOLE MENTAL INSTITUTION: THE TIME IS NOW, THE DAY IS  
  
HEEEEEEEEE-RE  
  
DUMBLEDORE: ONE DAY MOORE!!!  
  
SNAPE: //also strides into Gryffindor Common room, scaring students even more,// One day more of stupid teaching,  
  
Those kids, they're up to no good,  
  
I will join those little schoolboys,  
  
I will wet them with their blood.  
  
BOB: Watch 'em run amuck,  
  
catch 'em as they fall,  
  
Never know your luck when there's a-no-ther brawl.  
  
Here they think they're spiff,  
  
There they think they're tough,  
  
But no one really likes 'em when they're out on their own.  
  
HOGWARTS STUDENT BODY: //also pouring into Gryffindor Common room, terrifying poor Gryffindors//  
  
One day to a new lesson!  
  
CRAZY PEOPLE: Let Bob's discrimination die.  
  
H.S.B.: Let us pass these classes with zing.  
  
CRAZY PEOPLE: Every man will be a king!  
  
H.S.B.: Quidditch matches to be winning.  
  
CRAZY PEOPLE: There's a new world to be won!  
  
Do you hear the people sing!!??  
  
HERBERT: //stepping in line with the now marching CRAZY PEOPLE// My place, is here,  
  
I fight with YOU!!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: ONE DAY MOOOOOOORE!!  
  
WHOLE CAST: Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store..  
  
One more dawn,  
  
One more day,  
  
ONE DAY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!  
  
(end song) //end Act II//  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN LES MIS OR HARRY POTTER  
  
Songs:  
  
"Memory"-Cats, by Andrew Lloyd Webber  
  
"One Day More"-Les Miserables, by Claude-Michel Schonberg, and Herbert Kretzmer  
  
A/A: My sincerest apologies to you for this chapter..erm-half of act. I promise the plot will thicken and there will be more songs in the next installment. If not, you can raid my house with plants and small animals. K, R/R!! Flames are welcomed for this chapter only!  
  
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	5. Act III scenes 1 through 4

**  
  
a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou  
  
A/N: Not ONE DAY MORE to the next Act!!!...ahem..  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 1  
  
//scene: Great Hall, students sitting around. Banners hanging saying "Welcome Back Hermione!" and "Back at Hogwarts, Hermione!" Doors open gracefully and a sparkly dressed Hermione glamorously stands on the threshold. Ron scurries out of the way and grabs a seat.//  
  
(Song: "Hello, Dolly" from Hello Dolly)  
  
HERMIONE: (waving to HARRY) Hello, Harry.  
  
(winking at NEVILLE) and, Hello, Neville.  
  
It's so nice, to be back home, where I belong.  
  
You're lookin' swell, Snapey, //SNAPE wrinkles nose in disgust//  
  
I can tell, Henry,  
  
You're still glowin', you're still crowin'  
  
You're still, mmmmm..goin' strong.  
  
I feel the room swayin' for the band's playin'  
  
One of my old favorite songs from way back when..  
  
STUDENTS AND STAFF: You hear the ice tinkle  
  
HERMIONE: Can you hear the ice tinkle...  
  
STUDENTS AND STAFF: And the lights twinkle,  
  
HERMIONE: Can you see the lights twinkle?  
  
BOYS: And you still get glances from us handsome men. So..  
  
HERMIONE: Bridge this gap, fella's.  
  
Find me an empty lap, fella's  
  
EVERYONE: Hermione'll never go away again.  
  
HERMIONE: I went away, from the lights of Hogsmeade town,  
  
And into a weird mental house.  
  
But now, that I'm back, in the lights of Hogwarts school,  
  
Tomorrow'll be better than the good old days.  
  
STUDENTS: Those good old days..  
  
Hello, well hello, Hermione  
  
Well, Hello-hey look- Hermione.  
  
HERMIONE: Glad to see ya' Draco //sarcastically//, thank my lucky stars.  
  
DRACO: //gaping after glamorous HERMIONE// Your lucky stars.  
  
HERMIONE: You're lookin' great, Hagrid.  
  
Lose some weight, Hagrid? //spoken// yes, I think you did, Hagrid  
  
//singing// 'Mione's overjoyed and overwhelmed and over par.  
  
Gee, gee gee, fella's  
  
//flirtatiously sitting on DRACO's knee// find me an vacant knee, fella's //DRACO gawks at her, then HERMIONE mock-slaps him and walks away//  
  
EVERYONE: Hermione'll never go away again!  
  
HENRY RETTOP: Well, Hello, 'Mione. This is Henry, 'Mione.  
  
HERMIONE: //spoken// Hey again Henry  
  
HENRY RETTOP: I'm so glad that you're back here where you belong.  
  
HERMIONE: //spoken// I'm glad too, Henry  
  
HENRY: So, take her bag, fella's,  
  
She's no ugly hag, fella's  
  
Hermione'll never go away again!  
  
HERMIONE: Wow, wow wow, Henry,  
  
STUDENTS: Hey, yeh!  
  
HERMIONE: Look at the old girl now, gentry!  
  
STUDENTS: Wow!  
  
EVERYONE: Hermione'll never go away again!!  
  
(end song)  
  
//everyone claps, HERMIONE goes to Slytherin table where DRACO is sitting with his cronies.//  
  
HERMIONE: //to DRACO// Hey, Draco, baby..Missed me? //DRACO looks up desperately//  
  
DRACO: Looking good Hermione-I-I mean Granger. You uh..//starts winking at HERMIONE rapidly// Well uh-Get away from me you stinkin' Mudbl-Mud bl-- ..uh! Just go away.  
  
HERMIONE: Ta-ta, Dracy..  
  
//HERMIONE drops hair ribbon in DRACO's lap and walks back to Gryffindor table and giggles among HARRY and RON//  
  
PANSY PARKINSON: //very emotionally to DRACO// YOU STINKY DIRTY MUDBLOOD LOVER!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU FLIRTING WITH GIRLS WHO AREN'T ME! WE ARE OVER!!!  
  
//slams her napkin on her plate and walks away with a "HMPH!" Sits down a far way from DRACO and as she sits down, she shouts "POOPYHEAD!" across the table at DRACO. SLYTHERIN STUDENTS all laugh at DRACO//  
  
DRACO: Oh, shut up you. //gets up and walks to vacant corner of great hall. CRABBE and GOYLE follow///  
  
(Song: "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" from Disney's Hercules)  
  
DRACO: If there's a prize for rotten judgment  
  
I guess I've already won that  
  
No girl is worth the aggravation  
  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
  
She's the Earth and heaven to you  
  
Try to keep it hidden  
  
Draco, we can see right through you  
  
Boy, ya can't conceal it  
  
We know how ya feel and  
  
Who you're thinking of  
  
DRACO: Aaaaoooh, No chance, no way  
  
I won't say it, no, no  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: You glance, you sigh  
  
why deny it, uh-oh  
  
DRACO: It's too cliché  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
  
It feels so good when you start out  
  
My head is screaming get a grip, man  
  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
  
Oooooh-oh-oh  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: You keep on denying  
  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
  
Draco, we're not buying  
  
Hey, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
  
Face it like a grown-up  
  
When ya gonna own up  
  
That ya got, ya got it bad  
  
DRACO: No chance, no way  
  
I won't say it, no, no  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: Give up, give in  
  
Check the grin you're in love  
  
DRACO: //was walking/wandering the great hall, has his hand in a statue of HERMIONE's hand, then quickly drops it// This scene won't play,  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: You're doin flips,  
  
read our lips  
  
You're in love  
  
DRACO: You're way off base  
  
I won't say it  
  
Get off my case  
  
I won't say it  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: Boy, don't be proud  
  
It's okay, you're in love  
  
DRACO: OOoOoOoOoOOOh  
  
At least out loud,  
  
I won't say I'm in love  
  
CRABBE AND GOYLE: Shalalalalalalaaaa haaaaaaaaa..  
  
(end song)  
  
//DRACO looks at HERMIONE again and gives himself the love-struck, trademark "self-hug" all girls do when they're in love.//  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 2a  
  
//scene, Gryffindor Common Room, HERMIONE and RON are getting back from the feast, VARIOUS GRYFFINDORS around//  
  
HERMIONE: Why are you all so grumpy, Ron? Get with the flow!  
  
RON: I didn't necessarily enjoy you flirting with all those other boys back there.  
  
HERMIONE: Oh, Ron, you know I don't mean it. A little bit of harmless, meaningless flirting can't harm us.  
  
RON: Well, to me, it can!  
  
(song: "Shall we Dance?" from Crazy for You)  
  
HERMIONE: Drop that long face c'mon have your fling!  
  
Why keep nursing the blues?  
  
If you want this ol' world on a string,  
  
Put on your dancing shoes, stop wasting time..  
  
Put on your dancing shoes,  
  
Watch your spirits climb..  
  
//HERMIONE grabs RON and starts dancing//  
  
Shall we dance,  
  
Or keep on moping,  
  
Shall we dance,  
  
Or walk on air?  
  
Shall we give in to despair?  
  
Or shall we dance with never a care..  
  
Life is short, we're growin' older,  
  
Don't you be an also ran!  
  
//turns to various couple; happens to be COLIN CREEVEY and PADMA PATIL (she happened to be..erm..delivering girl scout cookies..shut up)// You'd better dance little lady, dance little man, //turns PADMA and COLIN towards each other, they smile and hug//  
  
//HERMIONE falls into RON's arms// Dance whenever you can..  
  
(song ends)  
  
HERMIONE: Well, Ron, if you want to be that way-I'm, I'm sorry, Ron! //hugs RON// I was just so excited from getting back and everything that. I just-I just-I guess I just got too overjoyed and overwhelmed and over par. //RON and HERMIONE laugh and share a passionate kiss//  
  
//in another part of Gryffindor Common Room, GINNY catches HARRY walking in//  
  
GINNY: There's been one more thing that I've been wanting to say all year, Harry.  
  
HARRY: If it's for me to marry you, Ginny Weasley, the answer is NO!  
  
//GINNY sings the following for a last, desperate attempt to get HARRY back.//  
  
(song: "So Long Dearie" from Hello Dolly)  
  
GINNY: //speaking//Well, Harry, it wasn't that at all. It was--  
  
//Singing at different pitches// Goodbye,  
  
HARRY: What?  
  
GINNY: Goodbye, Goodbye. Goodbye.  
  
HARRY: //speaking//What are you talking about, Ginny? Get away from me!  
  
GINNY: //speaking// Don't try to stop me, Harry //singing// please...  
  
//song's tempo rises greatly and all through the song, GINNY rushes around HARRY seductively to get his attention//  
  
Wave your little hand and whisper  
  
So long dearie  
  
You ain't gonna see me anymore  
  
But when you discover that your life is dreary,  
  
Don't you come a knockin' at my door  
  
For I'll be all dolled up  
  
And singin' that song  
  
That says you dog, I told you so  
  
So wave your little hand and whisper So long dearie  
  
Dearie, should have said so long  
  
So long ago  
  
Because you've treated me so rotten and rough  
  
I've had enough of feelin' low  
  
So wave your little hand and whisper  
  
So long dearie  
  
Dearie would have said so long  
  
So long ago  
  
For I can hear that choo choo callin' me on  
  
To a fancy new address  
  
Yes, I can hear that choo choo callin' me on  
  
On board that red Hogwarts Express.  
  
I'm gonna learn to dance and drink and smoke a cigarette  
  
I'm go'n as far away from Hogwarts as a girl can get  
  
//jazzy music plays and GINNY fiddles with HARRY's ear. He pulls away quickly//  
  
GINNY: //spoken// And on those cold winter nights, Harry....  
  
You can snuggle up to your dear professors.  
  
//takes off her red cloak drapes it around HARRY// They're a bit old, but they tango!  
  
GINNY: //back to singing and dancing, grabs HARRY's wand and glasses and puts them on, mocking HARRY// Don't come a knockin'  
  
I'll be all dolled up  
  
And singin' that song  
  
That says you dog, I told you so  
  
So Harry, you will find your life a sad old story  
  
When you see your Ginny shuffle off to glory.  
  
I should have said so long!  
  
How could I have been wrong?  
  
Oh I should //breath// have //breath// said //breath// so long...//runs to top of Girl's Dormitory stairs//  
  
So Long //throws glasses to HARRY// agoooooooo  
  
(end song)  
  
//HARRY looks at audience exasperatedly and holds GINNY's cloak up to his face affectionately//  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 2b  
  
//scene, around the lake, various couples of lovers walk around the lake, GOYLE is alone walking.//  
  
//PAVARTI runs onto stage, quite flustered, and being chased by VARIOUS BULLIES, zipping up pants//  
  
VARIOUS BULLY 1: Come back you [censored]!!!  
  
VARIOUS BULLY 2: Yeah we're not done [censored]ing you!!  
  
VARIOUS BULLY 3: Taste some of this!! //throws a barrel of rotten tomatoes at PAVARTI//  
  
GOYLE: //guards PAVARTI// Stop it, fiends!  
  
VARIOUS BULLY 2: Oh yea? What're you gonna do? Grunt at us? //laughs//  
  
GOYLE: What did she do to you?  
  
VARIOUS BULLY 1: C'mon, we're just havin' a little fun with her..  
  
GOYLE: Go screw a peach, if you're that hungry! //pulls out wand// CRUCIO! //VARIOUS BULLIES squirm and after curse is lifted, they run off//  
  
PAVARTI: Gee thanks..  
  
GOYLE: No problem.. How'd you get mixed up with that crowd anyways?  
  
PAVARTI: I don't know..they seemed so nice at first and then they invited me to their common room and then-and then--//turns away, ashamed//  
  
GOYLE: //hugs PAVARTI// It's okay..everyone makes mistakes once in a while.  
  
LAVENDER's voice //calling from offstage//: C'mon Pavarti! We gotta go have a makeover!  
  
PAVARTI: Oh yea..well thank you-Gregory. That's your name, right?  
  
GOYLE: //snaps out of staring at her// What? Oh yea, that's right.  
  
PAVARTI: Well..bye..//hastily gives GOYLE a kiss on the cheek and runs off//  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 3  
  
//scene, Slytherin Dungeons. DRACO and his CRONIES and VARIOUS SLYTHERINS lounging around//  
  
(song: "Heaven's Light/Hell's Fire" from Disney's the Hunchback of Notre- Dame)  
  
GOYLE: //looking out window (there are windows in the Slytherin Dungeon?)  
  
So many times out there  
  
I've watched a happy pair  
  
Of lovers walking in the night  
  
They had a kind of glow around them  
  
It almost looked like heaven's light  
  
I knew I'd never know  
  
That warm and loving glow  
  
Though I might wish with all my might  
  
No face as hideous as my face  
  
Was ever meant for heaven's light  
  
But suddenly an angel has smiled at me  
  
And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright  
  
I dare to dream that she  
  
Might even care for me  
  
And as I sit here, tonight  
  
This cold dark dungeon seems so bright.  
  
I swear it must be heaven's light  
  
DRACO: //standing in front of the fireplace, an illusion of HERMIONE is dancing among the flames//  
  
Father, oh father,  
  
You know I am a righteous son  
  
Of my pureness I am justly proud  
  
VARIOUS SLYTHERINS WHO SUDDENLY ARE HOLDING CANDLES AND SPEAKING IN LATIN NOW CALLED "CHORUS": Et tibi Pater  
  
DRACO: Father, oh father ,  
  
You know that I'm so much purer  
  
Than the common, vulgar, weak, muggle crowd  
  
CHORUS: Quia peccavi nimis  
  
DRACO: Then tell me, father,  
  
Why I see her dancing there  
  
Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul  
  
CHORUS: Cogitatione  
  
DRACO: I feel her, I see her  
  
The sun caught in her bushy hair  
  
Is blazing in me out of all control  
  
CHORUS: Verbo et opere  
  
DRACO: Like fire, hellfire  
  
This fire in my skin  
  
//rubs HERMIONE's hair ribbon at cheek// This burning desire  
  
Is turning me to sin  
  
//DRACO starts illusioning the CHORUS as DEATH EATERS, cloaked in black, creeping up on him//  
  
It's not my fault, I'm not to blame  
  
It is the muggle girl, the witch who sent this flame  
  
It's not my fault if in his plan  
  
He made the muggle so much stronger than a wizard  
  
Protect me, oh Dark Lord, don't let this siren cast her spell  
  
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone  
  
Destroy Hermione  
  
And let her taste the fires of hell  
  
Or else let her be mine and mine alone  
  
//fire turns green and LUCIUS MALFOY's face turns up in it//  
  
LUCIUS MALFOY: Son, my butt itches  
  
DRACO: I don't care.  
  
LUCIUS: Well you should  
  
DRACO: Whatever, begone!  
  
//fire returns to illusion of HERMIONE dancing//  
  
DRACO: Hellfire, dark fire  
  
Now muggle, it's your turn  
  
Choose me or your pyre  
  
Be mine or you will burn  
  
CHORUS:  
  
Kyrie Eleison  
  
DRACO: Please have mercy on her  
  
CHORUS: Kyrie Eleison  
  
DRACO: Please have mercy on me  
  
CHORUS: Kyrie Eleison  
  
DRACO: But she will be mine or she will burn!! //throws hair ribbon into fire//   
  
//DRACO cackles madly and collapses in a heap, common room goes back to normal//  
  
(end song)  
  
SNAPE: //bursts into common room// What's this racket? //gasps// Put out those candles at once! //CHORUS puts out candles// Why are you looking at me like that?  
  
CHORUS MEMBER 1: //says something in Latin//  
  
SNAPE: What was that?  
  
CHORUS MEMBER 1: //repeats what he said//  
  
SNAPE: Don't toy with me, little boy!  
  
FULL CHORUS: //says what CHORUS MEMBER 1 said//  
  
SNAPE: What?  
  
FULL CHORUS: //chant what CHORUS MEMBER 1 said and chase SNAPE from common room//  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 4a  
  
//scene, corridor, HARRY walking along, VARIOUS OTHER STUDENTS walking along//  
  
DRACO: //rushes onstage, grabs HARRY'S collar// Potter, Potter! You gotta' help me!  
  
HARRY: Well Draco, you look flustered today.  
  
DRACO: Never mind that, had a little problem with the fireplace last night. So can you help me?  
  
HARRY: What? I mean //evil gleam in his eye// sure, Draco!  
  
DRACO: Thanks, thank you! Okay listen. You know that Granger friend of yours? Well-Ineedtomakeherlikemeandpleasetellmehow!  
  
HARRY: //eviler gleam in eye// Oh really? Well //suppressing laughter// You need to-erm-show her that your differences mean-erm-nothing..so you //whispers in DRACO's ear//  
  
DRACO: //after whispering is over// Gee thanks! //runs off//  
  
HARRY: //bursts into cackling madly//  
  
Act III  
  
Scene 4b  
  
//scene, Great Hall, HERMIONE walks in skeptically, no one else there//  
  
HERMIONE: Well, the note said "Meet me in the Great Hall at 1:00" It's 1:05 already...hmm..  
  
DRACO: //bursts out from behind a tapestry, dressed awkwardly in the costume of a Native American girl. He has a huge turquoise necklace on and on his shoulder is pasted a hummingbird doll. A strange raccoon hops throughout the Great Hall// Hermione!  
  
HERMIONE: Draco? What are you doing here?  
  
(song: "Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas)  
  
DRACO: You think I'm an ignorant savage.  
  
And you've read so many pages, I guess it must be so.  
  
But still I cannot see.  
  
If the savage one is me.  
  
(HERMIONE: (deliberately) ahem..)  
  
DRACO: How can there be so much that you don't know?  
  
You don't know.. //strange wind starts blowing//  
  
You think you own whatever school you go to.  
  
Your brain is just a dead thing you can waste.  
  
But I know every chair and pen and pencil.  
  
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name. //butterflies soar from one end of the great hall to another//  
  
I used to think the only people who are people,  
  
Are the people who look and think like me!  
  
But now I walked the footsteps of a stranger.  
  
And I learned things I never knew I never knew..  
  
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?  
  
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned? (HERMIONE: Bobcats?)  
  
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?  
  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?  
  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wiiiiiind..  
  
//great hall suddenly turns into cheesy meadow and sunlight is pouring over it. DRACO grabs HERMIONE and starts running throughout the great hall//  
  
DRACO: Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest.  
  
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth //sloshy berries shower down on them//  
  
//they start rolling//  
  
DRACO: Come roll in all the riches all around you  
  
And for once, never wonder what they're worth.  
  
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers //suddenly turn into a lakeside and it starts raining furiously//  
  
The heron and the otter are my friends //HERMIONE produces patronus accidentally while trying to find a hex to defend herself//  
  
And we are all connected to each other //HERMIONE barfs//  
  
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends..  
  
How high does a sycamore grow? //HERMIONE barfs again//  
  
If you cut it down, //HERMIONE barfs yet again//  
  
Then you'll never know..  
  
Aand you'll NEVER hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon,  
  
For whether we are white or copper skinned //confused look on HERMIONE//  
  
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain,  
  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind  
  
You can own the school and still,  
  
All you'll own is school until,  
  
You can PAINT with all the colors of the wiiiiiiiiiiind.. //HERMIONE and DRACO end up in a Titanic-esque pose on the edge of a cliff//  
  
(end song)  
  
//HERMIONE escapes from DRACO's grasp and runs away//  
  
DRACO: //Reaching after Hermione// burn girl, BUUUUURN!!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: NOTHING HERE BELONGS TO ME EXCEPT FOR THE VERY DISTURBED PLOTLINE.  
  
Songs:  
  
"Hello, Dolly"-Hello Dolly, by whomever wrote that spectacular show.  
  
"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)"-Disney's Hercules, by whomever wrote the songs for Hercules  
  
"Shall We Dance"-Crazy for You, by George and Ira Gershwin  
  
"So Long, Dearie"-Hello Dolly, by whomever wrote that awesome show.  
  
"Heaven's Light/Hell's Fire"-Disney's Hunchback of Notre-Dame, by Alan Menken  
  
"The Colors of the Wind"-Disney's Pocahontas, by Alan Menken..I think..  
  
A/A: Well that was..erm..refreshing..and don't ask me what happened to Colette 'cause I'll..er..talk about her in the next chapter! How'd you like Draco's..feminine songs? Tell me in a review. I simply couldn't help myself in putting in Colors of the Wind. So..was it good? Bad? Gorgeous? This is probably gonna be the last act so enjoy it..Tell me.. REVIEW REVIEW!!  
  
Advertisement: Okay I've made up my mind..no more advertisements for the last chapter-this is the last advertisement (sob sob):  
  
The Muses: these guys have an awesome fic about Hermione going back in time. Check it out..I think it's called "Messing with History" or something of that sort. 


End file.
